Jenn (jensucks) wrote in wheres_the_sam,

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Lost: Part 5

Yeppers thats right I'm baaaaack. After having my net-life ripped away by the harsh realities of the real world I am back, and thanks to some recent events causing my mood to go completly south, with a new chapter of LOST.

Title: Lost Part 5
Author: jensucks
Rating: FRT for language and adult situations
Disclaimer: Sadly I don’t own anyone…and if I did, they would probably take them away from me for abusing them so much :P
Spoilers: None Completly AU
Content Warning: INCREDIBLY dark and disturbing. MAJOR bad language usage, drug themes and references, violence and character death.

|Part 1|Part 2| Part 3 | Part 4 |

Lost: Part 5

When I awoke again, the sun was gleaming through a small crack in the window and right into my eyes. I groan and sit up, scratching my chest and frowning as I realized I had fallen asleep before I could clean myself up and would now probably need yet another shower. Unfortunately, as I began to fully awaken, a shower was the last thing on my mind.

The sudden need for Heroine hit me like a ton of bricks, along with the memory of my actions the previous night. Without even thinking, or remembering my silent pact with myself I get to my feet and make my way over to my dresser, opening the top rawer and fishing out my stash. As quickly as I could, I cooked up all I had left of the Heroine, reminding myself to call my dealer once I had my hit, my resolve to quit vanishing as if it had never happened. Once everything was done, I sit back down on the floor, leaning my back against my bed, sticking my arm with the needle without so much as a second glance. I had done it so many times now I didn’t even feel the needle anymore.

I inhale sharply, sigh and close my eyes as the drugs rush into my bloodstream, God it felt so good…I had almost forgotten just how much. As I continue to lie there, basking in the feeling, the rush, I hear a crash from out in my living room. I rise to my feet, removing the needle and tossing it onto my bed before heading out of my room, immediately wishing I hadn’t.

First of all, my entire apartment was completely spotless. Although, that part was only noticeable for a split second, my main focus was on the commotion in the middle of my living room. It seems I didn’t have to call a band meeting because all the guys were there only, they weren’t discussing our future. Instead, they were grouped around a small mass on the floor, a body which now looked like a mass of blond hair and blood. My eyes widen and I rush forward, pushing past my band mates and kneeling at the body’s side, turning it over to see the badly bruised and beaten face of Sam Taggart.

“She slipped man.” Johnny’s voice rang out as I frantically searched for a pulse, and found none. “Didn’t she guys?” He added, with the other’s mumbling their agreements which I completely ignore for the moment, focusing myself on somehow reviving my friend. All she had done was try to help me, try to bring me back, make me the man Neela had loved and what did I do? I tried to rape her, left her alone and unprotected to be murdered by my so called friends. “Common Sam…” I mutter, starting C.P.R and praying for a miracle, which to my incredible lack of luck does not happen. “Fuck!” I curse out loud, tears beginning to spill from my eyes as I rest my head on her chest, eyes closed.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, followed by more lies from Johnny. “Dude it was just an accident, no need to get all worked up about it.” No sooner did the words leave his lips, I snapped, leaping up at him, my hands around his throat, catching him off guard and knocking him over and onto the floor, his head smashing off the coffee table with a loud crack. He goes limp in my arms and I remove my hands from his throat, hearing a small click from behind me. I rise, still fuming, a mixture of adrenaline and the Heroine boiling my blood, causing me to shake slightly as I turn to face my other band mates, one of which was now pointing a gun at my chest.

“What are you gonna do Kenny huh?” I ask, spreading my arms about wide “Shoot me?” I shake my head “That’s not really your style is it? Wouldn’t you rather beat me to death? Like you did Sam, like I know you did to those other girls…” I look to Jimmy, our final member with a sneer “All of you…the ‘missing’ groupies….I know what happened to them.”

“Shut up man…” Kenny says, gun hand shaking violently. He was afraid, and he knew I could tell. I smile again, taking a step toward him. “I mean it!” he shouts, backing up slightly, gun hand wavering even more as I take another step.

“Do it.” I challenge him “You know I don’t wanna live anyway, you’d be doing me a favor so just pull the fucking trigger already you fucking pussy!” I move forward again, close enough so that now the barrel of the gun was pushing up against my chest. “Do it Kenny. Fucking kill me Kenny, do it!” I scream at him now, finding myself hoping that he would, praying that this would be the last for me, that I could rest, be with Neela again, at this point, I’d even take burning in hell.

“Ray man…” Kenny stumbles “I don’t wanna do this…”
“Yes you do.” I counter “If you didn’t, we wouldn’t have gotten this far now do it.”
“Drop the fucking gun and let’s just get out of here!” Jimmy chimes in “Cops’ll be here any minute!”
“Shut the fuck up Jimmy!” I shout at him without taking my eyes off Kenny. “Common Kenny...” I say, using a soothing tone now. “I’m nothing but a pain in the ass; always pissing and moaning about my dead girlfriend…do us both a favor and end it now.”

Kenny closes his eyes and pulls the trigger, a soft click is heard, but nothing happens. I grab the gun from his hands angrily, opening the clip to find it completely empty. I look back to him and shake my head. “Fucking idiot…” I mumble “All that bullshit and you didn’t even have the balls to put bullets in the fucking thing?”

Sirens sound from outside, I glance to the open window just as two cop cars come blazing in. I growl and in one swift movement, turn back and clock Kenny on the side of the head with the gun, then turn to Jimmy who is frozen in place. “If you were any kind of man, you will tell them what REALLY happened.” I say before moving to my kitchen and yanking open a drawer, which falls to the ground. “Fuck!” I curse loudly, kneeling down and fishing through the junk to remove a magazine clip. I rise again and run to the window not facing where the cops were coming in, opening it and jumping out onto the fire escape, sneaking my way down to the ground and off into the shadows in the alley. Off in the distance I can hear the police shouting at poor Jimmy to get down on the ground, but I ignore them, not feeling one bit guilty for leaving him behind. I had other things to worry about.

Once I was far enough away, I stop running and duck into another small alleyway, leaning against the cool brick and closing my eyes. What the fuck had I done? Sam…she was with Neela now, the only two people who had ever tried to save me and they were gone…made me realize there was no help for me.

I knew what I had to do now, and exactly where to go to do it. I take a deep breath and slide the magazine into the gun with a loud click, then shoving it in my pocket along with my hands; I step out of the alley and make my way to the destination.

All this would end tonight.
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